Running on Empty? How Motherhood, Grief, and Major Life Transitions Can Drain Your Capacity
“Gosh, it’s so messy, isn’t it?”
I hear this all the time—and honestly, I say it to myself too. The juggle of motherhood, the emotional weight of grief, the fog of postpartum, the mental load of big life transitions… it’s a lot.
Let me give you a real-life example.
The other night, I was at swim lessons with my kids. It didn’t go smoothly (because does it ever?). There’s a particular kind of high-pressure energy that moms somehow access in chaotic moments—a survival mode that helps us hold it together, meet the moment, and manage all the moving pieces.
I channeled that energy. We made it through.
But afterwards? I was done. Completely depleted.
Not even two hours later, I snapped—over something that, in the grand scheme of things, was no big deal. And then came the guilt.
“Motherhood demands a lot. But grief, postpartum, and major life changes demand more.”
When You’re Running on Empty: Why It Happens
You might think, “What’s wrong with me?” But here’s the truth:
Nothing is wrong with you.
This is how our nervous systems work.
Motherhood demands so much. And when you layer on top of that grief, postpartum recovery, or any major life transition—your capacity gets maxed out even faster.
These seasons pull from your emotional, physical, and mental reserves. You might be “holding it together” for everyone else, but inside, your tank is running low.
Let’s not forget: things like grief and postpartum mental health struggles aren’t always visible. They’re often running quietly in the background, consuming brainpower and heart space even when you’re not consciously thinking about them.
That’s why you might feel fine one moment, and completely wiped out or reactive the next.
What Can You Do About It? Try a Self-Care Audit.
When we’re in these high-demand, low-capacity seasons, it’s easy to lose touch with ourselves. But even just a quick check-in can make a big difference.
I call this a head, heart, and body audit. Here’s how it works:
Head – What’s going on in your thoughts? Are you anxious, overwhelmed, scattered?
Heart – What emotions are showing up? Sadness, frustration, numbness?
Body – What is your body telling you? Are you tense, tired, buzzing with stress?
Once you get curious about these areas, you can gently ask:
What do I need right now?
And just as importantly:
Do I need to adjust my expectations based on my current capacity?
Self-Care Isn’t About Doing It Perfectly
Let me circle back to my swim lesson moment. After we got home, I did a quick head, heart, and body check-in. My brain was totally fried, and my body was filled with tension. So I took a walk. It helped—but it wasn’t enough.
I realized I also needed to lower the bar for the rest of the night.
That’s what real self-care can look like: noticing what’s going on inside, responding with something supportive, and adjusting your expectations with compassion.
Therapy Can Help You Build Awareness and Capacity
If you're in a season of grief, postpartum adjustment, or navigating a major life transition, you don’t have to figure this all out on your own.
Therapy offers space to reconnect with yourself, make meaning of what’s happening, and build tools that actually work in your real life.
And for those who want to jump-start this process in a more focused way, I offer therapy intensives—extended sessions that allow us to go deeper, faster, without waiting week to week for progress.
Ready for Support?
Whether you're a grieving mom, navigating postpartum overwhelm, or just feeling like your mental health has taken a backseat in motherhood—I'm here to support you.
If you’re curious about how therapy (or therapy intensives) might help, I’d love to talk.
You can contact me here or book a free consultation to explore your options.
Remember: You are not broken. You are responding to the weight you’re carrying. Let’s lighten that load—together.
